I've really struggled lately with my growth process as a leader.
It is one of the hardest things when you see things other people can't see and aren't willing to change. Being involved with leading things this year has been one the most rewarding things ever. Coming up with an idea, expanding it, making it happen and seeing people's lives changed or impacted in the end is by far one of the greatest things I have done.
Though, sometimes dealing with people or circumstances that you cannot change or are not able to do on your own is incredibly difficult. I found myself walking along the road tonight in very cold weather (mid winter), dark skies and alot of unanswered questions. It's funny how when you get to end of yourself, God shows up and says or does exactly the thing you need most.
Leadership at times can be a real lonely place and at times feels like nobody even understands what you're carrying. Amongst my emotions and full head I realised something that completely changed the way I felt.
I realised God sees what I see.
God feels what I feel.
God goes through what I go through.
My mind was immediately reminded of the anguish Jesus went through in the garden of Gethsemane. His whole emotions, physical body, mind space and spirit was in complete overload at the knowledge of the cross.
"My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death," he said to them.
Jesus saw what others didn't see. Yet, He powered on towards what He knew what needed to be done. He knew that although people didn't understand what He was going through at the time of Gethsemane and all the way through to His death, it was worth it.
I realised at that moment somewhere between taking one foot off the ground and putting the other down that it's worth it. Leadership at times feels lonely, unthanked and unseen... but it's worth it. Serving even when nobody sees or acknowledges you - it's worth it. Praying for your unsaved friends even when you haven't seen any results for a while - it's worth it. Staying integral in the secret or in the place of temptation - it's worth it.
Jesus understood that even though the cross was going to cost Him everything he had it was still worth it. I'm sure that even when He was hanging there slowly, loosing all strength and ability to stay alive, He saw the purpose.
It's worth it for the people around you to come to a knowledge of Jesus or to grow closer in their relationship with Him. It's worth it for the people who are one day going to look at your life and be hit with the power of pushing on. It's worth it for the church to become more effective in reaching the world. It's worth it for the chance for people to know the Creator of the world, the Saviour of mankind,
and its worth it for people to meet the One who can transform lives to a place of worth, purpose and salvation.
Kia ora and welcome to my blog. I live in Auckland, New Zealand (home of the All Blacks, Middle Earth and the most beautiful country in the world). I lead LifeChangers Church: Hibiscus Coast, and love seeing God change people's lives through finding a relationship with Jesus.