Sunday, May 4, 2008

The top 5 essential ingredients to making a rock show rock.

So I'm going to the Foos on Tuesday - a post-modern classic rock experience which is bound to blow my mind and most certainly my air drums. Given that the last show I paid decent money for was Justin Timberlake, I have abit of roughing up to do if I am to fit with the rock image and culture.
Therefore, after some researching and hard thinking, I've put together a list of the top 5 things that are essential to the enhancement of the ultimate rock show experience; a list of things to make the rock show rock, if you will.

1. A rough, unstylised haircut and beard.
This is best personified through the lead singer Dave Grohl, who has one of the best hard-rock looking haircut and beard. Nothing says "I'm going to rock this place like you've never seen done before" like a full on beard and long thick messy head of hair. There is no greater rock look than the sweaty, thrown around one. Although my hair is still reasonably short I will be attempting to achieve this look by failing to shave for the next few days and allowing my hair wax to continue sitting unused and unloved next to the mirror.

2. A prepared voicebox for the screaming sections.
Although I haven't attended many rock shows I must say I'm pretty experienced when it comes to the screaming sections of a rock song. This however, has not stopped me from tirelessly practicing for these sections. There is nothing worse from going all out at the beginning of the screaming section and having your voice either husk off or break. Believe me. I've managed to scrap all of the Foo Fighters albums off a friend and I've been cranking particular songs in order to build up an immunity to the tired voicebox and hurting throat. The great thing about the Foos is that nearly all of their songs contain some section that allows you to lean back, breathe deep and thrash your vocal chords with a massive screaming vocal chorus.
"Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?!?!!!!"
"What if I say I'm not like the others, what if I say I'm the pretender?!!"
"Come alive, come alive, come alive, come alive!!!!!"

3. The classic sweat band.
This point can often be overlooked easily; seen as a small ingredient to the enhancement of a rock show, but, it is vital. Other than the fact that almost every musician has at least one sweat band, they provide an important part to the experience. Sweat must, and I say this with emphasis, must be evident. Without an evidence of sweat you haven't put much in effort. However, when this sweat increases in volume and begins to cloud your vision it becomes a serious problem. Sweat in the eyes not only hurts but also decreases the enjoyment and experience as you are unable to visibly see the band and other happy-go-lucky fans. Without the classic sweat band, which comes in a variety of colours, you are just another fan who is held hostage to the frustrating constant flow of natural fluid.
This is by far the greatest sweat band.

4. Appropriate toe protection shoes.
Again, these can easily be overlooked, but from previous experience toes can be easily mashed without appropriate protective footwear. This is a must for the moshing and thrashing the human body about in a rhythmic way is to be enjoyed. There is nothing worse than having the time of your life with your friends and favourite band but still have an aching pain in your feet.

5. A camera with a proper flash.
Some shows prohibit cameras being used, but until the option of downloading images taken from the human eye is invented, use a camera. Cameras provide a way in which we can forever have a record of the greatest rock show we ever attended. I once took a camera to a show that didn't have a flash and all I got was black photos with the occasional glimpse of colour. It sucked. Honestly. My other problem is that often if I'm in the mosh pit I'm too small to get a good shot with my camera because it's either blocked by all the tall people who should be at the back, or it's actually aimed at the speaker to the right given that I can't see where I'm aiming the camera. Therefore, get a camera with a flash - and some of these.

And there you have it, the top 5 steps to creating a greater rock experience. I will be following these in preparation for Tuesday night - hard rock with the legendary Foo Fighters. Keep your eyes open for some (hopefully) good photos and some great stories. Like standing in line for 4 hours.

81 comments:

Sam said...

Rhys, this is the best blog you've written. 10/10. Phat. I'm going to evangelise people for your blog. Really fun to read.

I'm now totally stoked I have a beard and long hair. A true rock star.

Random Rambler said...

I'm not so sure the stilts are a good idea. the don't have big enough platforms on the bottom, that if you lost your balance you'd most definitely die.

sam, you only think it's the best because he gives you a reason for your look :P
instead of just that you are an 'anally expulsive' person.

and rhys, about #4 you need steel caps! Got any?

Rhys Lake said...

Yeah Sam's look is definitely something to aspire to - I may need to do a post sometime in the future titled sometime to the like of "how to dress like a real musician" or something to that effect.

Thankfully, my extensive experience in using stilts has provided me with good balance. I have no fear of using them now - I've used them for quite a while now. But thankyou for your concern :)

Anonymous said...

hmmmm...

Clive Smit said...

Flipping brilliant mate!
I have linked to this awesome post on my post.
Here's to some really good times!!!

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